Although you may be able to withhold your feelings throughout the day, the pressure builds like a volcano until you are ready to erupt. Losing your temper might not be a pretty sight and you could inadvertently upset someone you love. It's better to let off steam little by little throughout the day than waiting to reach the point of no return.

Man, this could not be any truer. So. Damn. Cranky. Bah. Attempted to nap out of sheer frustration, with head under blankets. Didn't work. I have many things I need to work on, a stack of library books next to me, and yanno what? I don't wanna do a damn thing. Bah. Tell me you love me, f-list, I need it today. ♥♥♥

You may be distracted today and unable to concentrate on the most significant matters. It's hard for you to keep things in proper perspective because of your mental meanderings. Instead of attempting to rein in your errant thoughts by brute force, the opposite strategy might prove smarter. Give yourself permission now to let your mind take you on a merry-go-round of ideas and feelings. Think of this as a little escape; your responsibilities will still be there when you return.

Like I need anymore incentive than that right there. WTG capricorn! =P

Moved a whole ton of crap around, tomorrow is the Big Day wherein my older brother comes home to fix up all the computers, network everything, and get my old desktop reformatted so my dad can use it and leave my mom's nice new computer alone. Honestly, I'm not all that tech savvy, but it SUCKS how technophobe the 'rents are. ^^;; Urgh.

Am gonna work a little on my four beading projects...am trying to convince mom that we need to hit the craft store tomorrow so I can get more beads to make the rest of the stuff for y'all. Ankle decided to start hurting again yesterday after I walked from work to downtown, so am back to being splinted up and bitching. =P That means quality time with the kindle (am at the end of Solistice Wood by Patricia A. McKillip...SO GOOD. Fiber Guild + witchcraft = MADE OF WIN. =P) and the stacks of books that have mushroomed around my bed in hopes that I'll pick them up and READ THEM ALREADY.

My library fine was finally paid: I need new authors/book titles, people. Gimme! <3333

ps: Stayed in bed till nearly 11 am. I have not done that in ages. A near week of not getting to bed until midnight has taken its toll. But man, do I love sleeping in. <3

[Tarot.com Capricorn Horoscope] Throw away those astrology textbooks that say you Goats don't know how to have fun. Although you are capable of delaying your personal gratification when necessary, you also know when to put pleasure ahead of work. Luckily, this is one of those days when you can set the standard and others might have a hard time keeping up with you. But don't worry about everyone else; for now, just sing and dance as if you have been practicing for this moment all your life.

WOOORD. Damn you astrology, I AM FUN. *giggle* Speaking of fun, am going geochaching in Seattle for the day with C. and her college gang for one of their birthdays. And then off to Buca di Beppos for dinner. Hee!

Just want to note that after having, really, a lackluster week, aoibhe and secretchristine perked me up yesterday. Althought I think I'm more homesick than ever. =P And it sucks that it's Sunday, but I think I see sunshine peeking in through my blinds. Just keep on shinin', sun.

Tarot.com Capricorn Horoscope: Although you are at the beginning of a long-lasting and dramatic metamorphosis that will alter the direction of your life, today may highlight one of the issues that you are facing. A close personal friend might say something that pushes an emotional button for you now, causing you to turn a minor disagreement into a major conflict. But there is an alternative response. You don't need to succumb to fear or negativity; create a foundation based on love instead.

That's it. None of you are allowed to push emotional buttons. I AM WATCHING YOU! *eyes f-list* =P

So, the ovaries that I have? The ones that the ultrasound tech said were "perfectly normal," assuring me that my problems "weren't ovarian at all"? The ovaries that could in no way explain for my symptoms, according to my doc and one of her colleagues? Oh, you mean the right ovary that is almost twice the size of the other one (we're talking, the left one is around 5.1 cm. The right? Over 9 cm.) Yanno the one, it has all the cysts in it. THAT ovary. Riiiight.

They still have no clue what's wrong with me, but either way, it ends in surgery. I will find out at the end of this week about a procedure that I have to have done (filled with cathaters and sedation and checking blood for excess DHEA, and a day trip to the hospital! FUN!) and then the results of THAT will tell me if they remove my left adrenal gland, or half/all of my right ovary. There's more bitching, but after talking about it to my mom, the surgeon, the surgeon's assistant, his OTHER assistant, the girl at the radiology place, my mom again, and then my ohana, aoibhe and secretchristine (also known as Thing One and Thing Two) over the phone, I actually think I'm all bitched out.

So regardless of which internal organ gets ganked from my guts, I have PCOS, and will continue to have that for the rest of my life. It's not a horrible thing to have in the long run, I suppose, it's better than something like diabetes and insulin shots, but it's not even a little bit fun. At least I am Not Crazy in thinking that something has been wrong for YEARS with me, and the fact that I have pain all the time in my ovaries (like right now *sigh*) isn't just me projecting some strange brand of hypochondria on 'em.

In all honesty, knowing that there's an answer that I can see on the horizon makes me feel better. Although not by much. Still. I think I deserve to have a helluva birthday this year though, with all the crap I've been put through. (Okay, so that is also probably not gonna happen, but a girl can dream.) Depressed. BLAH!! BLAAAAAAH, I say. Am trying to keep laughing -- otherwise I will cry and that WILL NOT DO. I need ice cream. And movies. Barring that, a stiff drink and a half nekked Jensen Ackles serving it to me, pls & thx. =P

Today's Horoscope for Capricorn: You may feel on-edge today because you are being drawn into something new and you would prefer to hold on to the status quo. But living in the past isn't helpful when the future is approaching so fast. Accepting the fact that your life will change in very profound ways can be the first step to reclaiming your security and confidence.

...yeah, no kidding. =p

ps: The girl got my Greggia Pullip today. SO RELIEVED! And she left me a really nice message on my Dolly Market Feedback thread, so that made me smile. One less thing to worry over, yay!

I had the single most HORRIBLE FREAKING DREAM about work ever. Like, I think I actually woke up crying a little the first time. ^^;; My manager yelled at me, and I think I was sorta fired, and she kept going around spreading horrible rumors about me to our co-workers, and I just remember calling my mom and having her pick me up, completely incoherent with tears. Dude.

All the other dreams I had after it, were all about how much I dreaded the first dream. ^^;; Weird.

Oh, and this sounds just a little ominous: [Tarot.com Capricorn Horoscope] You might feel anxious today because change is in the air and you cannot yet grasp what it has in store for you. Your current insecurity blossoms if someone withdraws support or even love. Although you intellectually understand what's going on, this can bring up abandonment issues. Instead of attempting to hold on to the status quo, let go of your previous expectations and see where this shift carries you.