Dear Long-tail Cast On,

Honestly, you are my favorite cast on, even if I'm not all that fond of cast ons in general. And yet, YET, you thwart me at every turn, causing me to cast on the same stitches over and over and over again until I don't have half a skein of yarn left ove on the wrong end of things. Really. Shape up, L-TCO, or I'm leaving you for that sexy Twisted German cast on. He's FOREIGN.

Yeah, just think about that.

Ripping out yet another set of stitches,
Wren

[edit] Also, I just recieved two Dreamwidth invite codes if there's anyone on my gorgeous f-list who still requires one. I'm still sickly and still very much not online, but I will try to get them out to those that want them asap. <3

Dear Stomach,

I would appreciate you not being all nauseous-like at 8 in the morning. Not that I particularly want you to be nauseous at all, but waking up just after midnight to nausea, and then still having it upon waking at just past 6am...it's a little much. Personally, I think you like the attention, and would advise you to stop being such a dramawhore. I mean really. Three weeks today, and you're still pissy? I think you need psychotherapy to talk out your issues, lady, because they are TOO NUMEROUS FOR ME TO DEAL WITH. Also, I hate those shoes you're wearing.

...your mom,
Wren

Dear Merciful Goddess,

I know that in your infinite wisdom, all things happen for a reason. I am trying my hardest to be open and positive about the past few weeks. That being said, I think the lessons are a little overzealous, and would kindly appreciate a cease-fire. Isn't there someone else you can teach for a little while? This pupil is exhausted.

Yours,
Wren

Dear PMS Boy,

You are a vindictive, petty, compassionless asshole who deserves nothing more than to be backed over (repeatedly) by a 10-ton Mack truck o' Karma. Gods forbid you ever get sick and have to deal with the recriminations and accusations from someone like yourself. You do not know everything, nor is your way even close to the only way in which to conduct oneself - personally, I'd rather shoot myself than find that I have anything in common with your narrow-viewed, small-minded, hypocritical way of life. You are reviled throughout the workplace. Your smug self-importance, your false "modesty" that draws attention to just how very superior you are to everyone you come in contact with. Grow up. Find a soul. Or jump off a cliff. Now.

I hate you,
Wren

Dear Ohana Collective,

...Is is Juuuuuune yet?

Love,
Wrennie